It's the time of year again, looking back what you have been doing in year 2006 and what's your to-do list for year 2007. Well, having been working for several years, it seem that I'm still struggling to be placed on a stable position where there will be less shit getting from someone on top of you.

Recently I was being called by one of my project head to a meeting room, the first thing came to my mind is "SHIT". Guess it could be related to an incident lately where I corrupted some database data in production system and another incident crashing the system and causes several thousand of user unable to login to the system for an hour. Well, I guess you could probably think that I'm into a "DEEP SHIT" situation. Seem like I'm doing more "SHIT" than others.

But in fact, I have taken many unsleeping hour to solve the problem. Having to be called to the meeting room makes me fear. Guess you might think I'm fear of what he will question me or I should have being complaint for not being concentrating on my job. But actually my fear is losing the job.

Phew ! I finally got myself released after knowing he called me in to discuss what I want from the organization and since he just got elected to head this project, he want to know more about people under him. As usual, I just briefly told him what I'm doing and what I will be doing soon. So, he said "Great and that's good", so he asked me, "What I want to achieve 5 years from now?". It's seem like an interview question, however, I guess I'm greed for higher pay and higher position.

Ermm..it started to remind me about the picture, he told me what's the criteria of being in management and how many corporate ladder do exist in an organization as define by him. He also told me some people will just stay at some position due to their individual needs or capability and some people who have family will rather prioritize their life for family and not career and someone will just take a big step to crawl into another ladder and climb towards their goals.

As for me at current situation, I personally think the best is to add value to myself and also to get more experience and learn more things which could probably leads to a better future. As part of that, it seem that fear and greed which is holding me to stay on a job, or maybe my thinking was just like others who want to stay on a job as well. I dare not to say that I'm now able to get over fear and greed unless I'm a boss.

I also don't know why I wrote this post and how to stop it, it could mean something I don't know how long I have to work for my job to a stable position in getting lesser "SHIT". I guess maybe you have the same thought, well, let's hope for the best in the coming 2007.

Cheers …